


I hate you, I love you

by zgirlbooop



Series: I love You [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Identity Reveal, singing marinette, song inspiraton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 03:14:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6638971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zgirlbooop/pseuds/zgirlbooop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote this because I have been listening to the song i hate u, i love u (feat olivia o'brien) by gnash over and over and it seriously just made me want to write a fan fic about these two. Don't know if it turned out exactly like I had planned but I pretty happy with it either way.</p><p>Characters are around 17-18 and yea! Marinette and Adrien are friends and the rest is explained in the fic!</p>
            </blockquote>





	I hate you, I love you

**Author's Note:**

> Big breaks in text indicate a time jump

 

Marinette watched in the background as Adrien was once again stopped by someone for a quick interview and photograph. It happened so often that Marinette didn’t even acknowledge what was happening. She just brushed off Adrien’s apologises and found somewhere to sit for a few minutes.

 

‘Have you made any progress with Ladybug?’ the question floats over to Marinette and she can’t help but cringe and make a point of looking away from the crowd in front of her.

 

Marinette could hear Adrien’s nervous laugh and could easily imagine him rubbing the back of his neck. Adrien was constantly asked this question, since 6 months prior when he had slipped up saying he had a massive crush on the hero. Marinette had had a meltdown over the news. At first she had been excited! Her crush had a crush on her, but then everything came crashing down once she acknowledged he had a crush on her alter ego. The her that never hesitated, only did what was right and loved by everyone. He loved someone she simply couldn’t compete with. Tikki had reassured her that she was Ladybug in and out of the costume. But Tikki hadn’t been able to deny that, while that was true, Marinette herself wasn’t that person 100% of the time. She could maintain that persona while as Ladybug BECAUSE it wasn’t her all the time. Marinette couldn’t be too devastated though, once that news had sunk in, her crush on the boy had lessened slightly, making it possible for her to talk to him and actually be his friend. She was herself around him, but she didn’t know if he would ever figure out that his friend, someone he trusted, was the famous Ladybug who eluded him.

 

‘Sorry for making you wait.’ Adrien’s voice invaded her depressing thoughts with a gentle smile.

 

Marinette shook her head and merely held out her hand, signally that he should take a seat next to her and relax for a few moments. ‘It’s fine, I’m kinda used to it by now.’ Marinette reassured, resuming to look around the place she had sat down.

 

Marientte could feel Adrien’s eyes on her, could faintly see the concern in his eyes, but she ignored it. She couldn’t talk to him about what was clearly bothering her, and he had learnt that she wouldn’t tell him, or anyone for that matter. Alya had told her that Adrien had asked, but when Alya couldn’t get it out of her, she had told him the truth. What ever deeply bothered Marinette when conversation vanished was something only she could deal with.

 

‘Did you still want to tag along for the photoshoot?’ Adrien asked nervously, Marinette could tell he still wanted to ask but refrained.

 

Marinette turned to her crush and smiled with a slight nod, getting up and lightly dusting off her pants. She had to get out of her funk. Adrien had offered to let her tag along to a photo shoot so she could see how it was done. She suspected that it was so he also had an excuse to make sure the photo shoot didn’t go overtime. Either way, she was happy to see how he worked and what she might have to do in the future. She also would never turn down time to spend with Adrien, she had worked hard to get to this stage of their friendship. Messed up love life issues would not ruin that for her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Marinette often found herself sitting on the roof singing along to the radio. She preferred sitting up there, it let her escape from all the responsibilities she had, while letting Tikki rest and not worry about people questioning why Ladybug was on a rooftop by herself. While up there, a song started playing that resonated with her so much she couldn’t resist downloading it and playing it on repeat.

 

_I love you, I hate you, I hate that I want you, but you want her, you need her, and I’ll never be her._

She had cried the first few times the song played through. How could a song put everything she felt into simple words? She simply couldn’t understand.

 

It was one night while the song played and she sang along that she heard the tell-tale sound of her partner landing on the roof. Sometimes he came and paid her a visit. She never minded, it was a chance for him to relax, and if she was completely honest, a chance for her to give him some extra calories that he desperately needed. Tonight though, she noticed he let her finish the song, he didn’t make his presence known instantly.

 

When he finally walked around the corner the concern displayed across his features was obvious. Marinette simply smiled and shook her head, signalling she didn’t really want to talk about it.

 

‘Princess, someone clearly has hurt you if you sing so passionately to the song.’ Chat still sat next to her, but for the moment ignored the food that had been placed beside where he normally sat.

 

Marinette shrugged and simply pulled her thin blanket closer around her. She didn’t really want to talk about it. She didn’t need Chat knowing her problems, not when it involved Ladybug.

 

With another shrug Marinette simply said, ‘The song pretty much explains it. I love someone but he is in love with someone else. And there is nothing I can do about it.’

 

Chat’s expression changed to sympathy and Marinette had to look away. She didn’t want to see that expression on Chat’s face. She knew he could relate to her, Ladybug still didn’t return his affections. She knew and it made her guilt towards the subject suddenly rise. She knew she shouldn’t talk about her crush, when she knew he had a crush on her in a round-about way. When Marinette finally looked back to her partner, she noticed that he had picked up a cookie and was nibbling on it, deep in thought.

 

Marinette couldn’t help the giggle that slipped past her lips, it was funny to see a boy clad in black nibbling on a pink frosted cookie. Chat turned to her, a smirk on his own face and he threw the rest of the cookie into his mouth without hesitation.

 

‘I am always thankful that you leave these out for me.’ Chat looked longingly at the now empty plate of snacks.

 

Marinette simply smiled in response and reassured the cat that it was fine and she would always have something there for him to eat. She didn’t voice her concern about his weight, because there was no way that he wasn’t aware of it himself. There had been many times when the duo were fighting and Ladybug had heard Chat’s stomach grumble. He had ignored it, but it had worried Ladybug to no end. She vowed to feed the hero if she saw him in civilian form. He needed food and was clearly not getting enough.

 

 

 

 

 

 

‘ADRIEN RUN!’ Ladybug screamed as she dashed past scooping up Alya, she didn't have enough hands to grab Adrien, screaming at him was her only option for the moment.

 

She saw Adrien’s head whip around and saw him start to move, Ladybug felt Alya cling to her as she sawed to the top of a building and quickly told the reporter to stay. Thankfully the Akuma hadn’t been paying attention so Ladybug had the chance to swing down and grab the model before any harm could come to him. She noticed that once he was in her arms, he relaxed and didn’t scream, didn’t react. He simply held on and made sure to stay out of her way as much as possible. Ladybug was confused, how would he know where to position himself so that he would cause little issue.

 

It didn’t take long for Ladybug to find a safe roof top, different to Alya, as she knew that the reporter wouldn’t move to safety, so she had placed her on a roof where she was safe, but could also see the battle. Adrien didn’t need that, so she placed him further away from the battle.

 

‘Stay here, I will come back for you and bring you down once this is all done.’ Ladybug sternly explained before turning to head back into battle.

 

‘Ladybug wait!’ Adrien called, catching her arm before she could throw her yo-yo.

 

Ladybug turned with a question clear in her eyes. Adrien looked around frantically, trying to look for something but she wasn’t sure what.

 

‘My friend, Marinette, you know her, she was meant to meet us! But she, she might be in danger! You need to go find her!’ Adrien looked truly panicked. Ladybug smiled internally at the concern Adrien displayed but reassured him that she was fine.

 

Adrien visibly relaxed and let go on Ladybug’s arm, nodding and looking directly at the hero. He whispered his thanks and stepped back, she was surprised in a way, she thought he would take this moment to flirt, or something. But when a scream sounded behind them Ladybug flew off the roof top and back to the fight. She was needed elsewhere; she could worry about his crush later.

 

 

The Akuma had been easy to defeat thankfully, Ladybug quickly helped Alya back down from the roof. Alya recorded the whole experience. Thanking the hero for letting her record such an exciting moment. Ladybug merely smiled and rushed off, she still had to get Adrien down from a roof.

 

‘Were you safe?’ Ladybug asked as she landed. She had needed to de-transform and feed Tikki before returning to the roof. But it meant that she wouldn’t need to worry about the transformation fading any time soon.

 

‘Yes, thank you.’ Adrien looked a little dishevelled. But that could have been from the trip up to the roof.

 

Ladybug smiled gently but didn’t move at first, she could tell there was something that he wanted to say. He wanted to do something, so she waited.

 

‘You have probably seen that I have a thing for you.’ Adrien looked away from her nervously when the words left his mouth. She could even see a slight blush on his cheeks. Something she hadn’t seen for a long time.

 

‘I have, it would be hard to miss it.’ Ladybug responded, a gentle smile on her face. It was times like this when the mask truly changed who Marinette was.

 

‘I,’ Adrien looked up at the hero, determination in his eyes as he powered through what he had planned to say, ‘I am not going to deny it, but I also want you to know that I will not chase you. Because I know how important it is to keep your identity secret.’

 

Ladybug didn't know how to react. She did not expect this, she didn’t know what to expect really. But not this.

 

‘Thank you for understanding.’ Was all she could manage to say.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That night Ladybug swung through the city, eventually she landed on a roof, she didn’t pay attention to whose, at that point it didn’t matter, she couldn’t escape her thoughts of Adrien. She didn’t know what to do, she loved him, but he was in love with the hero, a part of her, sure, but not all of her. Only the her that was seen for a few hours randomly.

 

_Yeah all alone, I watch you watch her, she’s the only thing you’ve ever seen_

The lyrics slip out of her mouth without much thought. It’s true, as far as she is concerned. She has to sit back and watch Adrien fall in love with herself. Its weird and painful.

 

‘Are you alright Ladybug?’ a voice from below breaks her thoughts.

 

Ladybug looks down in a panic to see the very boy who is ruining her life looking up at her. She freezes, she doesn’t know what to do. She sang in front of Adrien, about Adrien, thinking as if she was Marinette and not Ladybug. Way to go genius.

 

‘I’ve been better.’ She sees no point in lying, and she can't blame him for being concerned. She was sitting on his roof singing a sad song. She just hoped that she wasn’t so loud that she had woken up others inside the mansion.

 

‘Did you want to talk about it?’ He asked nervously, she could see that he was gently rubbing the back of his neck.

 

Ladybug thought about it, did she really want to talk about it to the person that was causing her so many issues. Probably not the best idea.

 

So instead she replied with. ‘The song pretty much explains it. I love someone but he is in love with someone else. And there is nothing I can do about it.’

 

Something crossed Adrien’s face that she couldn’t catch. Ladybug cocked her head to the side when Adrien shook his head lightly. When he looked at her again, there was something slightly different about his gaze. As if something was making sense to him. Ladybug could feel her brows crease slightly at the expression. She didn’t know what that sentence could have given away. She vaguely remembered saying those words before. But she couldn’t place where.

 

‘I’m sorry if I woke you, I will leave you to the rest of your evening.’ Ladybug finally got up to leave. She had been there too long, if she stayed much longer she would not get enough sleep nor finish all of her homework.

 

‘I look forward to seeing you again.’ Adrien’s words followed her as she swung away.

 

 

 

 

 

For the next few weeks Marinette noticed that Adrien was acting differently. It was incredibly subtle, she knew it was because when she asked Alya about it, her best friend shrugged her shoulders and explained she must be imagining things. Marinette didn't know what to do, she could feel him stare at her more often, he wanted to be around her more often, and what was the most noticeable to Marinette was that his expression had changed when he looked at her. She didn’t understand, he was in love with Ladybug, why was he looking at her like that? She had caught him staring once, she had raised her eyebrow at him and his response was a blush and to quickly look away.

 

‘Tikki, have I done something to change how he treats me?’ Marinette asked one day, she had had enough, and she knew that her Kwami had noticed the change in her friend as well.

 

Tikki shrugged, the kwami clearly knew what was the issue but simply wasn't sharing it with the frustrated girl. ‘You need to figure out what happened, else nothing will change.’ Was the only response the Kwami had given on the topic.

 

Marinette sighed and looked out the hatch in her roof. It was a quite night and Marinette just needed an escape. So with a quick transformation and jump out of her window, Ladybug was flying through the city.

 

Ladybug decided that relaxing on the Eiffel Tower was the best place, because the only other person that could possibly disturb her was Chat. And tonight wasn’t a patrol night, so the chance of her being interrupted was slim.

 

_I hate you, I love you. Don’t want to, but I can’t put nobody else above you_

 

‘My Lady, you really need to start singing a different song’ Chat’s voice scared the living daylights out of her.

 

She would have fallen off of the tower if Chat hadn’t reacted quick enough and caught her. Ladybug clung to her partner. Not willing to let go until her heart settled down to a more reasonable pace.  

 

Eventually Ladybug looked up at her partner with a frown, his words finally registering and the look Chat was giving her only confirmed her suspicions. She had some how given away her identity just because of a stupid song.

 

‘Marinette, who is the song relating to?’ Chat asked once he saw her expression, he felt no need to hide the knowledge from her.

 

Ladybug struggled to get out of Chat’s grasp, but he refused to let her go, he moved his arms and brought her in for a proper hug. Ladybug didn’t know what to do, she was caught. She slumped into his embrace.

 

‘Wouldn’t it be cruel to tell you?’ Ladybug asked, trying to brush his question away. She didn’t really want to talk about this to someone she knew also had a crush on Ladybug.

 

‘Ladybug.’ Chat’s voice was strong, making his point that he would not drop the subject. ‘This had been bothering you for a long time. That song isn’t even in the charts anymore and you singing it as if your life is that song.’

 

Chat had a point.

 

‘It’s because so many people **love** Ladybug, yet that’s not me!’ Ladybug exclaimed. Emotions she had suppressed coming to the surface. ‘He loves a ‘me’ that isn’t even all of me! You clearly know who I am outside of Ladybug, Marinette is not Ladybug, how am I meant to compete with a version of myself that only exists because of the mask. I can’t live up to Ladybug. It’s a lie and…’ she paused as she watched Chat’s expression change and his hand raise to wipe away a tear she hadn’t even realised was sliding down her face.

 

‘Have you even talked to this person outside of the mask? Given him a chance?’ Chat asked gently, his hold on her had loosened and he gently pulled the two of them down to sit on a beam.

 

Ladybug couldn't help the chocked laugh that slipped through her lips. ‘Talk to him? Chat, I’ve been around him since he started going to school.’

 

Ladybug looked to see an expression that was so familiar to her, but on a different person. She paused, she knew that expression, had been trying to figure out its meaning for the last few weeks.

 

‘So,’ Chat began, looking away from Ladybug, looking out to the city, ‘you know this person, but haven’t made progress with them.’

 

Ladybug shook her head, ‘They admitted that they loved Ladybug, I can’t compete with that. I told you.’

 

‘What if he loved both sides of the mask?’

 

Ladybug snapped her head around to look at Chat, he was watching her through the corner of his eye. His face turned towards the city, but he was pointedly looking at her. Seeing through the mask to the girl underneath.

 

‘And how exactly would you know that Chat?’ Ladybug dared to ask.

 

Chat sighed and placed his head on her shoulder and shook his head. ‘You don’t make this easy you know.’ He turned his head to look up at her bewildered expression. ‘Come on Marinette, you have sung the same song in front of my three times now. Once on your roof top, once on **my** roof top, and now here. Unless you often go around singing on rooftops.’

 

Ladybug gasped pulling back slightly. She didn’t make it a habit to sing on people’s roof tops. ‘Adrien?’ she asked tentatively.

 

The smile that broke across Chat’s face was unforgettable. It was full of happiness, glee and acceptance.

 

‘About time you figured it out.’ Chat sang as he rocked back and forth, absolute joy radiating off of him.

 

Ladybug could only stare. She had been singing and complaining about her crush to her crush who was crushing on her and had figured it out first.

 

‘You’re not disappointed?’ the words slipped out quietly, but they still got Chat’s attention.

 

‘Disappointed? My Lady, I would never be disappointed in you. Since the first Akuma I knew I loved whoever was under the mask! You might have forgotten, but when we first started you weren’t confident. You didn’t want to be a hero; it was that girl who I fell in love with. She did what was right even though she was terrified she couldn’t do it.’ Chat grinned at her and gently slipped and arm around her shoulders, bringing her to his side with a gentle squeeze.

 

Ladybug was speechless, she was not expecting that. ‘So we have had crushes on each other since day one?’ Ladybug questioned with a laugh.

 

‘Apparently’ was Chat’s simple response.

 


End file.
